Category: Mental Health

My spirit has been shattered by humanity

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I’m picking up the pieces of my broken spirit. There’s shards of domestic violence my mother and her husband subjected me too. There’s a large broken piece of sexual molestation at the hands of my mothers husband and his brother and another larger piece of spiritual brokenness, abandonment by my mother, leaving me with her husband when she left him. Another piece, he had his way with me, leaving me completely broken throwing me to the wolves.

My spirit, shattered. I’m trying heal in a toxic society and pick up the pieces without injuring myself.

I’m okay.

8 teen girls charged with murder in Toronto man’s swarming death

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8 teen girls charged with murder in Toronto man’s swarming death
— Read on www.cbc.ca/amp/1.6692698

Who let’s their 13 year old girls out late at night? What’s going on in the home for young teens to be out in the downtown core of the concrete jungles of Toronto?

We must look at the root of what’s taking place in the home for these girls to be involved in such a crime!

As winter closes in, the city’s most vulnerable hunker down in parks | The Star

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Everybody has to be somewhere, and for a great many, that somewhere is still in Toronto’s public green spaces, writes Rosie DiManno.
— Read on www.thestar.com/opinion/star-columnists/2022/10/23/as-winter-closes-in-the-most-vulnerable-hunker-down-in-city-parks.html

As many of you know Rosie and I have a difficult relationship. However, I must support her article in this post.

Homelessness is a serious issue and many of those people living in tents, have mental health issues. Some are complex and others are grieving the losses of someone they were close with, losing everything because loss hurts terribly.

On December 4th, 2020 I lost a very close friend dying in her tent at tent city in Kitchener, Ontario. Kory Berta had her struggles, losing her mother and father a few years earlier. Kory inherited her parents wealth, a little under $200,000, setting her boyfriend up with a small landscaping company. Shortly after the business was up and running she came home to find him in bed with another girl. She walked out of the relationship leaving everything behind. Still grieving the loss of her parents, now betrayed by her boyfriend, she wandered from couch to couch, eventually moving into the basement of my home. Within 6 months I asked her to leave because she was drowning herself in heavy drugs and alcohol. I had two kids and wouldn’t tolerate the situation I found myself in.

I eventually moved away from Waterloo and a short time later I received a call from her asking me for help again. She wanted to move out of the city and get clean. I told her I needed to speak with my kids about it and I would contact her. After careful consideration, discussions with my girls, I decided to tell Kory that I could not help her. I turned my back on her to put my family first.

A year later I was sitting having dinner when a call came through on my phone from Facebook. I noticed it was Kory’s daughter, Michelle. I knew something was wrong! Michelle was contacting me to inform me of her mother’s death at tent city.

Homelessness in Canada is at an all time high, getting worse. We don’t have enough affordable housing, nor do we have the resources available to deal with mental health waiting lists reaching six months to a year, yet, we have the money for safe injection sites offering free crack kits and needles so people can get high. Our priorities are mixed into a toxic cocktail of a society putting bandaids on issues while letting other issues bleed to death. I miss you Kory and I’m not sorry I put my family first. I’m sorry that we as a society aren’t doing enough to solve the issues of homelessness!

Firearms Ban Efficacy debate, no debate.

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We don’t need prayers for communities experiencing gun violence, we need action on lifting people up out of poverty stricken communities, and drug infested environments. We need strong role models in project area’s and in the schools. We need passes for community youth to attend community centers for change and strategic talks for community members, a support network for the parents and youth struggling to get out of poverty. They need a hand up, not a hand out! Poverty is the root of gun crime!

A couple of years ago I purchased some tickets to attend a a debate at the University of Toronto, Hart House. The subject, “Firearms Ban Efficacy, a Canadian Perspective”

The event wasn’t a debate in my opinion. Brian Lilley from the Toronto Sun newspaper attended as moderator, and all sitting on the panel, including Jordana Goldlist, a Toronto Criminal Lawyer gave their opinions and views on the gun violence in the concrete jungles of Toronto, with a comment on carding being the throw away card in criminal proceedings. Carding is essentially a discriminatory card.

There was definitely some raw emotion speaking from a man that lost his daughter to the Danforth shooter. He spoke to the panel, clearly wanting all weapons banned. I believe he even wanted police not to be allowed to carry guns. The weapons are already out there, in the hands of criminals having no respect to laws, or innocent bystanders, so disarming the police isn’t an option.

Justin Trudeau is under the influence, believing the gun violence will stop by banning firearms. Since over 1500 weapons have been band, the gun violence continues to rock a city to its very core. Gun related deaths are tragically common. Gun related violence occurs in every country, from school mass shootings to drug turf wars. Gun deaths are considered an epidemic in America where civilian gun ownership leads in the world.

Here in Canada we didn’t debate, we all agreed that gun violence is rooted in poverty.

I’m working on it.

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I’m getting the words out and the story is coming together. It isn’t pretty! I’m still here to tell my story and I will get it published, maybe one chapter at a time, but it will be told.

I’ve started writing again. And, I’m not drowning my keyboard with tears. I still grieve in my own way. I no longer need to pull over my car on the side of the road because I can’t control the grief. I’m healing the trauma passed onto me, spending time and money on massage therapy, acupuncture and spending time in the heart of Jesus, my rock.

More to come. Thanks for listening and reading.